Getting There: How far is too far? Road Trip Part 1

A view from a room at the inn-early mornin Montgomery Bell State Park

The annual spring break trip went off well if not for some lessons learned along the way.

Three things occurred to me on this trip, there is such a thing as too far, there can be too many plans in too little time and eventually a teenager emerges from your eager travel companion. It was a bit of a growing pain for both of us, I must admit.

So how far is too far? After two days of driving seven and half hours each day, I decided twenty hours round trip is the farthest to drive-this way if I you decide to make it in one day you can-the extra five hours makes it too long to make in one day for my preference, I’m sure other lovers of the road would probably disagree. We spent two days getting to the first area we were going to stay, granted we did go through some beautiful country and we did have lots of time to bond and take in the road.

In the Ouchita National Forest we got to see an Alligator farm, the Little Rock Zoo and some amazing lakes and forests, we missed the waterfall hikes I had planned because time was just not available. We had another four hours after we spent the day at the zoo and the alligator farm to get to Montgomery Bell State Park, I’m feeling fatigued and my son decides its time to put on his headphones and zone out-it’s going to be a long ride. Near Memphis we were trying to get to Charles Vergos' Rendezvous  barbecue but ended up getting in too late so next idea is Fried Chicken.

We have added food places to our list of places to explore and my son really picked well.

First food stop-Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken. It was one of those places that a crowd starts at the door and everyone sitting seemed like they were confident they were in the best place for an amazing meal. The atmosphere is relaxed and extremely comfortable, elbow-to-elbow with locals and the people were just so friendly. I met people from Dallas as well as people from around Memphis-we were seated next to a group of guys celebrating a bachelor party who apologized in advance for the chaos that was surely to ensue. The company and the atmosphere was alive, excited and I haven’t even mentioned the food yet. It delivered just as expected. You can order a few pieces or a half chicken, simple menu and just amazing taste. The coating is light but so flavorful and well worth the indulgence. You can tell when you have been to an amazing place to eat because it becomes part of the story, you remember it and the atmosphere of the whole exploration becomes flavored with the food and the place you found.

It was a long ride with a full stomach to Montgomery Bell State Park and lots of good conversation. I asked them if there were woods around when I booked a room at the park and they said the place is surrounded by the woods and they weren’t lying. We saw our first herd of deer cross the road and after weaving through the heavily forested road we were ready for a good night sleep. We woke to a beautiful view from our window, a misty lake surrounded by forest, a place we both would love to explore again but now we had six hours to get to Nashville and than to Dale Hollow lake-it was going to be a long day of driving.

The next food place my son found was the Pancake Pantry near Nashville, when you arrive,  there is a line out the front door that continues to grow, you know you’ve found another place for locals and tourists that have found a food paradise. So how special can pancakes be? It’s flour, water, a griddle and than whatever you add to flavor it, I stand corrected. Again, elbow to elbow to college kids and people from all over the country that have made a pilgrimage back to where they once lived, one thing about a place like this, you stand in line and learn about people, you gather stories from all over the country and suddenly strangers for a moment become friends. I ordered the Carribean- an amazing mix of coconut, pecans and banana goodness-he ordered the blueberry pancakes and I have never tasted pancakes the same, the lightness and the perfection of the fruit was something we will be talking about for a long time.

On to Dale Hollow Lake,

The spillway at the lake at Montgomery Bell State Park

A Road Trip Mimics Life

In our lives we experience cycles from the excitement of youth seeking happiness to the wisdom of age searching for purpose, so how does this relate to a road trip? I feel like a vacation is a small snapshot of our lives and the emotions and feelings we get mimic, on a small scale, how life changes and develops over time.

When we are planning for the trip, there is the feeling of hope and excitement. As in youth, we tend to dream big and create this amazing fantasy where even a short period of time will make up for all the time we worked hard to afford the costs of the trip. We make plans, we add places to the vacation and activities that don’t necessarily coincide with the actual reality of time or the lack there of.

I feel like half the fun of traveling is the planning, learning about new places and making reservations is all part of the experience. I like the anticipation almost as much as the actual experience. As time passes in the planning process we start to realize the costs and the reality that we have probably allotted enough money for half the experiences and have arranged two weeks of adventures into a weeks worth of time.

So goes youth, we grow into our lives, the realities we redefine and the truth that we learn as we get closer to the actual life we have planned. This is why the teen years are so turbulent, it’s like planning to dive off a ten-foot diving board only to realize it is a cliff that is one hundred foot above treacherous rocks. This is the point in the vacation where you get out on the road and all the questions start to occur; did I forget anything? Did I bring enough cash? Have I planned too much? There is an excitement at this point but there is still that feeling of stress as the miles pass by and we get further and further away from our safe and stable lives.

When we arrive at our destination there is a mix of panic, the flat tire, running out of gas, the credit card that gets declined or the hotel that has misplaced our reservation, it always seems that in the midst of the road trip something goes wrong. We are at the mercy of the road, we feel our lack of planning and the truth of the vacation we have planned, we start to adjust the time we spend, what we are able to do and what we need to plan for another trip. This is life and the reality of the path we chose, both the peaks and the valleys. This time I would equate with our post graduation and the experience we have with building our careers and raising our families, it is as frightening and stressful as it is filled with passion and fulfillment.

With age, we realize the actual truth of the road trip; it’s reliving the points of time, the restaurants you’ve been to and the things you’ve seen. Suddenly the fears and insecurities of being out on the road turn into the confidence of miles driven. I experience a clarity of mind, routine loses its weight on what seems possible, even as the vacation ends you are planning the next place to go, to experience life, the great highs and the insecurities of the lows. The ride home is the wisdom of looking back on our lives and realizing what we have accomplished and perhaps what we might have changed if given the chance.

In the final miles, we long for the routine we worked so hard to get away from and miss the pets we left or the comfortable beds we’ve abandoned. It is a feeling of full circle and yet at the same time whether it be sadness and regret or fulfillment and passion we have made our trip what it was but unlike our lives we can go and do it all over again the next time we have a chance to road trip.

Things we learned as of last evening-by the way this post has been prerecorded-but here it goes. Last night my son and I spent the early hours of the evening making a fire, lesson 1-it's not as easy as Bear Gryllis would have you think, or is it? We learned very quickly that we know the process of starting a fire and when we slow down and do what we know we're supposed to do-magically we have a very nice fire indeed. The problem we have with starting a fire is the excitement and speed in which we try to do the act skips over crucial steps that would make the fire easy. We regrouped and slowed down and instead of fighting to keep a fire going we succeeded in getting a fire to last through the evening and put it out only when we decided to,

It was cold and windy but for me it made the evening more memorable. We spent time in silence, it's funny how fires bring out the deep intense stares into oblivion, must be the light in the darkness, we're like moths attracted to the warmth and light, luckily we are a bit smarter than moths and don't burn ourselves, well some of us do but that's another story and another camping evening. We watched for shooting stars and just relaxed while we watched the reward for our troubles. It was one of those extremely bright nights, so bright  you would think it was an eclipse in the middle of the day, I missed the darkness, there is something about look into the blackness and the blackness stares back. Without television, Internet, cell phones, we were able to actually spend time without the distractions of daily life.

We had the entire campsite and the lake to ourselves which is kind of wonderful and still a bit unnerving-the right mix for time away from civilization is a few people in the distance and just enough remote without feeling like you are a survivor in some foreign jungle. During the evening we got to watch deer across the lake and it was like nature came looking for us, I still think they were probably not happy with the light in their eyes but it was exciting to be able to watch them without scaring them away. Another amazing thing to listen to was the owl in the grove across the water, I couldn't have asked for a better sound to listen to while enjoying the outdoors.

The next morning, I actually got to see the sunrise and get out on the lake in the really cold water of early winter. By the way, when kayaking you get wet and even if the air is warm the water is ridiculously cold. My son seems to care more about the fishing than the idea of drowning or freezing to death. It was pretty windy and neither of us caught anything-again! After this trip I have since been studying the illusive smallmouth bass and my next trip I hope will be a whole new chapter on fishing and actually catching-I definitely am starting at a good point-there's only getting better! It was an amazing day and the evening even got better visiting Turner Falls and Tucker Tower but the amazing thing is the peace and serenity of nature which I have only recently begun to rediscover.

So how do you relax? Where do you find peace? I am just realizing again, starting with a new found faith and an intentional attitude of slowing down and taking stock in my life-Peace is available for all of us but we need to slow down long enough to realize it. We need to find silence and solitude as only in these times do we find our true selves and the chance at rekindling our faith-by the way when starting a fire, don't forget the kindle-I'm just saying.

Where do we go?

California-Big Basin State Park Californias' oldest state park and an amazing place so close to Redwood City

Our sixth trip is in the works, and we have finally decided where we will be going-Kentucky of all places. To recap, first we were on our way to Wisconsin with my brother and his family when my son came down with a fateful stomach bug, enter a father's answer to a crisis. We planned and executed a trip down to the Texas Hill Country to see the caves-first stop Inner space caverns and all caves, waterfalls, zoos, rock collecting and other destinations to follow.

First lesson in a great vacation plan-be flexible, meet change and crisis with alternatives and possibilities and don't be afraid to get out there. This first trip was a bit uncomfortable for me because I have a tendency to get sleepy at the wheel on long trips but it all worked out perfect-my confidence sparks the next idea and next years' trip begins its preplanned stage. The best word or essence of this trip I could describe is freedom-the feeling that our world is out there and all we have to do is go find it, both of us were addicted to the road trip.

The next trip was a plan to take my son to the coast for a red fish trip, a hobby he had recently picked up-fishing. My initial idea was more the trip to the coast but it turned into a San Antonio/Rockport trip-the way to Rockport was a bit further than I had traveled before and again the nervous feeling of the long road did cross my mind-energy drinks bought and used as an emergency tool much like a tire iron and flares I guess. 

Fishing with Lanny Philips Rockport Texas

We went to San Antonio and he saw a pamphlet for ghost tours and the second lesson in our vacation process: the wild card-come up with an idea and don't hesitate to say YES! In the next five minutes I was on the phone setting up a ghost tour for the evening. It is the diversity of our interests and the opportunity to do whatever comes up that makes our vacations so successful. Another lesson in vacationing-be open to new experiences and share interests that are common, this way no one is bored and no one feels slighted. When we are out on the road-there is nothing that is off limits.

Next lesson is to search for interests that are common and have the attitude that you will see everything you can-the road to the destination is the destination. A long ride to somewhere becomes  a bunch of short excursions to manageable trips. This lessens road fatigue and keeps the vacation unpredictable and exciting-you pretty much start the vacation the minute you get in the car.

The next trip was something I came up with as I had made some extra freelance money and was able to go out and purchase airplane tickets. Alcatraz here we come-we went to San Francisco and planned on caves, zoos and the pacific coast-my son had his first plane ride that he remembers and got acquainted with public transportation and the freedom of the rental car. Can I just say one of the best things he remembers is the food-we did not spare expense and I have since not missed one penny of what I spent.

Another lesson-don't go broke on a vacation but don't go halfway either-finding that balance is the hardest part. 

Another added interest on this trip was aquariums-Monterrey, Aquarium of the Bay-it was a great addition to our repertoire. This trip was I think, still our very best, we went from San Francisco to San Diego and back to Alcatraz-luckily we only stayed for an evening on the rock and the park system was nice enough to ferry us back to freedom. One outstanding element of this trip was as I mentioned-the food-Dungeness crab and Anchor steam beer for me. My recommendation would be the crab house on Pier 39. The best burger either of us have ever had was at Louis-another amazing restaurant I would highly recommend. In this trip my son who is quickly approaching his teens took the initiative to pick restaurants and hotels using his smartphone we recently invested in-he became a navigator, hotel reservations and arrangements for dinner and he did a really nice job of setting us up with great places to eat and navigating when we got off course. Another lesson in vacation-its both of your vacation and the more involved and interested your preteen is the more you both share the vacation and the excitement of the vacation-it's not all about you!

How do you follow up a trip like our San Francisco/San Diego trip? Best thought I would give is don't try-one does not compare to the other or you will quickly be disappointed. I decided that we would go somewhere I have been wanting to go for a long time-Mountain Home Arkansas and my main idea was to kayak and boat which the weather and chill in the air quickly changed-again be flexible and ready to change plans. Again we got to enjoy caves, amazing dinners and fishing for trout both with a guide and along the road-it wasn't the California trip but it was amazing in its own way and both will remember all aspects fondly. 

Petit Jean State Park Arkansas

Our most recent trip was to Oklahoma-this was a wonderful trip but the least memorable probably and my explanation is that we brought our kayaks-this I believe limits your freedom to go see things and places and limits the trip to fewer options. We kayaked, camped, stayed in a cabin and stayed in the comfort of a hotel-all experiences were amazing including trout fishing and a trip to natural falls state park which we both enjoyed. We discovered the prettiest lake in Oklahoma-Ten Killer Lake and were able to fish where you can see the bottom of the lake in Broken Bow. We cooked salmon on the grill and watched bald eagles  fly across the immense sky-it was an amazing trip-probably on a scale of 1-10 a 9-the only difference with the other trips is that they all were twelves and thirteens-it's all perspective.

Lake Murray State Park Oklahoma

Which brings me to my final lesson on the road trip-perspective-take everything as it comes, look for the challenges that bring wisdom and realize that the whole reason you are out there is to enjoy time together and feel the freedom of being open to all possibilities. Leave the phone and texting alone, talk about everything from nature, memory and everything in between. The trip, just as in life is what you make it, realize you'll never get the money you spend back nor will you ever  miss it if you do it right. Go out there and gather memories much like the magnets you put on the fridge, every memory is a trinket that will never be anything less than priceless. Enjoy your freedom and realize its out there waiting to be explored so go explore. Next stop Kentucky, the Atlantic coast and everything between.